Author: Jessica Joelle Alexander & Iben Dissing Sandahl

Publisher: Piatkus

Denmark is the happiest country in the world. What is their secret? How are they raising such successful and confident children. This practical guide to parenting presents the six essential principles, spelling out P-A-R-E-N-T.

Play is essential for development and well-being.
Authenticity fosters trust and an “inner compass.”
Reframing helps kids cope with setbacks and look on the bright side.
Empathy allows us to act with kindness toward others.
No ultimatums means no power struggles, lines in the sand, or resentment. Togetherness is a way to celebrate family time, on special occasions and every day.

The Danish way of parenting adopts an authoritative style. It is based around the idea that everything in life is about our perception, things are as we are not as they are. In essence, happiness is a choice, a decision, a mindset. Parents want nothing more than for their child to be happy. The Danes equipped their children with the skills to build resilience and view life and people more optimistically. This is incorporated into their belief that play is essential for development. They believe that through play, children will learn resilience. It is believed by the Danish that we should not shield children from tragedies and upsetting events. It is part of life and something they will need to deal with when they get older, so why protect them from it and strip them of the opportunity to learn how to deal with negative events during their childhood. Teaching your child how to recognise emotions, good or bad, will enable them to act in a way that is consistent with their values and the challenges of life wont overwhelm them. Learning this at a young age ensures your child has an authentic self-esteem that is resilient and resistant to external forces and pressures. Children look to their parents to learn, thus, parents must be a model of emotional health to their children. Danes don’t bombard their children with compliments. It is important to them that children acquire the gift of being humble and learn that they don’t need others to make them feel important. Danish children are taught to be aware of their emotions and understand why it is they feel this way. Danish parents steer away from dictating to their child how they should and shouldn’t feel.

Whilst this book might not be for everyone, it is worth a read. You don’t have to adopt the Danish way of parenting, but you may pick up a thing or two you want to incorporate into your own parenting style.

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