Introducing a Sibling
Having another baby shifts the entire dynamic of your family. Whilst it is an extremely exciting and positive event, there are often worries that come alongside the introduction of a sibling to your existing child. Will my child feel neglected? Will they feel unloved? Will they be excited to share their toys? All of these questions are valid. However, it is important to remember that the addition of this baby will be exhilarating and magical for the whole family. There are a few things you can do during the lead up to the birth that will dampen any anxieties you have about introducing a new baby to your little one.
Positively introduce the idea of a new sibling
Talk to your child about how they too were once a baby. Show them pictures of them as a baby or even yourself as a baby so they can relate to the new baby.
Tell them that they can help out with the new baby. Make them feel important by listing off different tasks you are going to need them to help with when the baby arrives
Talk about how they can be friends with the new baby. Explain to your child how they can show them how to do things once they arrive. Have regular discussions with your child about how they can show the new baby all their toys and books. This will also encourage the idea of sharing.
Go shopping with your child and tell them you need their help picking out some new clothes for the baby. Involve them in the nursery too. Let them pick out some books or posters to put in the new baby’s bedroom.
Let them pick out a present for the new baby. Likewise, buy a present for the baby to give to their sibling once they arrive. When your child meets the new baby for the first time let them exchange gifts.
Discuss what is happening with your child. Be as honest as you deem appropriate about what is happening in your tummy. Talk to them about how the baby is growing and when it is big enough it is going to come out and your child can play with them as they grow up. NOTE - Depending on the age of your child, this could lead to discussions on how the baby will come out, how did it get there ... It is a good idea to have prepared and have possibly discussed with a partner or child's caregiver how you want to approach this topic with your child.
Build a bond with the bump
Let your child build a relationship with the bump by encouraging them to regularly feel the bump and talk to the baby. At bedtime you can encourage your child to make up a story for the baby too to help the baby get to sleep.
Introduce the new baby as soon as they arrive.
Allow your child to visit you and new sibling in the hospital if possible. Ensure equal attention is being paid to both/all children
If possible, when the child arrives to meet the new baby, have the baby in their cot so your arms are free for a cuddle and then you can see the baby together.
Introduce the baby to their older sibling instead of the other way around, to acknowledge that they were here first. This will help your child to feel secure.
Maintain a normal routine
Once the baby arrives, strive to maintain your child's current routine - whether that be nap time, 1 on 1 time, regular park visits
Avoid significant changes in your child’s routine. This is not an appropriate time to be introducing potty training or moving out of a cot.
Regression
Be aware that your child may begin to 'regress'. Constant reminders that they are going to be a 'big' brother or sister can stimulate some children to regress in some behaviours such as, beginning to use a 'baby-voice' or comments about not wanting to be 'big' but 'wanting to be a baby'. This is normal. It is a sign that your child is confused and unsure what is going to happen. It shows that they want to be reassured that they are still important and valued by you. Insist that they are still loved and that you will love the new baby equally. Try to approach the situation in a positive manner, explaining how they will be bigger than the baby so they can teach the baby to do things.
Jealousy
Expect children to be jealous of a new sibling. Regardless of the age of your other children, they will likely feel jealousy towards the new arrival. We have had nine months to adjust to the idea of another baby, but our children may not have come to terms the idea of another child in the house. These things take time, be patient. Ensure you separate your time, try to allocate some 1 on 1 time with older children to avoid them feeling resentment towards their new sibling for consuming your attention.
Anxiety
It's not uncommon for some children to experience anxiety over feeling like the baby is their responsibility. Excessive talk about how they are going to be a ‘big sister’ or ‘big brother’ may trigger anxious feelings within your child that they are going to need to change and grow-up. Ensure you take the time to talk to your child about how the baby is your responsibility just as they are also your responsibility.